The Potion!
by SSJHimura
Summary: Sano and Yahiko are ...HOME ALONE!(Slaps face) AHHHH. What crazy things will two single guys do? What do they have in store for the rest of the gang?What, a Mercedes-Benz!
1. The man screen

SSJHimura: Hey guys! I'm here with my SECOND FANFIC EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Here with me is my sister and her twin brother.  
  
Lady Himura: Is this gonna be a romance fic?  
  
SSJHimura: uh.....no....  
  
Lady Himura:........  
  
PenguinOfEvil: Make it bloody...very bloody...and lost of laughs too. Blood and laughs go well together, but mainly blood. Don't you think?  
  
SSJHimura: YEAH!  
  
Lady Himura: No comment...... anyway since there is no romance in this fic, you can get romance and humor if you read my fanfic "Tell Her."If you have time after this one, read that one please.  
  
SSJHimura: On with the story!  
  
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It was a dark and stormy night (classic beginning) and Kenshin and Kaoru went out for a lovely evening at the Akebeko. Yahiko was home alone, alone, alone, did I mention...alone!? Then Yahiko wasn't really alone any more. Sano was at the door. He let Sano in and he had a weird contraption in his hands. He had a high definition man-screen t.v. with a satellite dish and pizza maker!  
  
"Sano!? Where the heck did you get one of those?!" Yahiko asked staring at the contraption.  
  
"I smuggled it from America!" Sano replied devilishly.  
  
They hooked up the t.v. and put it on a horror film.  
  
" OK Yahiko, if it gets too scary for you, just tell me and I'll change the channel for you." Sano laughed. In the movie, there were three little cute squirrels. They had big cute eyes and chubby little bodies. An unsuspecting little boy walked up to the squirrels and tried to feed them when, THE KILLER SQUIRRELS ATTACKED! Blood and guts spued everywhere! Sano screamed and hid behind Yahiko who watched with eyes wide opened, unfazed by the horror of the film.  
  
"I'm gonna go get some of your smuggled American popcorn!' Yahiko said as he departed from the room. Sano was flipping through the channels, when one channel caught his eye. He began to drool and his eyes grew bigger. Soon his face was right infront of the t.v screen.   
  
"Hey Sano what are you watching?" Yahiko asked as he tried to look over Sano's shoulder.  
  
"Ahhh Yahiko, I was watching....uh......FOOTBALL! Yah that's it, I was watching football!" Sano yelled as he desperatley tried to change the channel.   
  
"Yahiko, I'm bored, what do you wanna do?" Sano asked.  
  
"I don't know, what do you wanna do?" Yahiko replied.  
  
"I don't know, what do you wanna do?" Sano replied  
  
"I don't know, what do you want to do?" Yahiko replied  
  
"STOP!" Sano yelled knocking Yahiko over.  
  
"Say Sano, how about we go into Kenshin's room." Yahiko said excitedly.  
  
"Hey good idea, I like the way you think!" Sano said. They made their way to Kenshin's room. They slid open the door, entered the room, and closed the door behind them. They frantically looked around for something to blackmail Kenshin with. They looked, and looked and looked some more... did I mention they looked!? Any way, they looked in his futon and found something they would've never expect to find in Kenshin's possession. they found Kaoru's PANTIES!!   
  
" HAHAHAHAHAH!! KENSHIN IS NAUGHTY AFTER ALL!!!" Sano said histerically.  
  
" I DIDN'T THINK KENSHIN HAD IT IN HIM!!!! "Yahiko laughed, falling to his knees.  
  
" Wait, how do we know these are Kaoru's undergarments?" Sano questioned.  
  
" Look at the tag, it says her name right on it! BLAHAHAhAHAHA!!" Yahiko yelled as his side started bleeding from laughing too much.  
  
" Wait, how is your side bleeding, is that even possible? Oh well, I guess it is possible since you are losing a great deal of blood." Sano said calmly.  
  
After bandaging Yahiko's sides, the two trouble makers found a secret passage way in Kenshin's room.  
  
"Hey Sano, where do you think this leads to?" Yahiko asked as he observed the entrance.  
  
"I don't know, let's find out!" Sano said as he entered, Yahiko following. They came to find that it was a secret room. For some crazy reason it had a futon with two pillows on it. There was a Harry Potter Potion kit on a large desk that looked interesting. There was also another door. It was pink and had hearts all over it. It was sprayed with a sweet scent that lingered through out the whole room.  
  
"Wow! Cool Harry Potter Potion kit! I wanna try it!" Sano said while he was putting on goggles, an apron, and gloves.  
  
"You are so childish Sano. Hmmm... I'll go through that door with the really sweet scent that is really hurting my nose." said Yahiko.  
  
"WOW!!!!!! It leads to................................................................................................to........................................................................... to.............................................................................................................................................................................to..........................  
  
KAORU'S ROOM!! (the word room echos im the distance) Thats how Kenshin and Kaoru do it. Those sly dogs!" Yahiko slyly said.  
  
"Hey Yahiko, the potion is turning pink! No wait, green! No, brownish um... poopyish color!!! It smells so bad... THIS IS GREAT!!!"  
  
The potion was fizzing and the putrid odor was getting worse.  
  
"Awe cool!" Yahiko said while staring at the concoction. "Doesn't it look disgusting?" Sano asked when at that moment he threw the drink into his mouth.  
  
"Sano! You sick animal! That thing is like a real pile of POOP!" Yahiko Yelled.  
  
"Yeah, but it feels good all the way...... d...oo..ww..n.......oh yeah." sano said with a drunken look on his face.  
  
"Can I try some. Please?"Yahiko asked inocently.  
  
''Here!" Sano gave Yahiko a test tube from out of no where. Yahiko took the drink, spilled it in his mouth, cringed, and swallowed.   
  
"Hey Sano, this does feel good on the way down!" Yahiko said with a delightful face.  
  
"Let's make some for Kenshin and put it in his food!" Sano said as he began to mix his original ingredients.  
  
"Hey, let's add this sparking red liquid for a little zing!" Exclaimed Yahiko.  
  
"Wow, it, it, looks even more disgusting than before! Now it has green spots!" Sano yelled in delight.  
  
"Let's go back up stairs and put it in Kenshin's favorite food." They both said as they both walked back up the stairs, through Kenshin's room and to the t.v. room. They made six pizzas and only two slices remained.  
  
"We'll save one piece for Kenshin!" Sano cynically said.  
  
"Yeah! YEAH! BOO YEAH!" Yahiko fainted from loss of blood.  
  
"You mean to tell me the kid didn't know he was bleeding the whole time! Kids these days! Don't pay attention to anything!" sano yelled as he dragged Yahiko onto a blanket and bandaged him some more.   
  
Sano was sitting there, alone. Then there was a crash of thunder! The power went out! (A/N: So basically the only thing that went out was the T.V.) Sano was scared and tried to wake Yahiko up from his uncouncious state.   
  
Then someone rapidly banged on the door. Sano yelled "IT'S THE KILLER SQUIRRELS! AHHHHHHHHHH! MUST THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS!" Sano then started thinking of fluffy pink bunnies. But then the bunnies thought eventually turned into squirrels and he got even more scared.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED  
  
Who is really at the door? Will Yahiko ever stop bleeding? What will Sano do!? Why am I asking you all these question?! I hope you plan on reviewing or the killer squirrels will come kill you! Bwahahahahahahahah *cough hack cough* hahahahah! 


	2. The Porclain cow!

SSJHimura: This is my second chapter EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!! In my second fanfic EVER!!!!!!!!!!! Isn't it great!   
  
Lady Himura: Someones excited.  
  
PenguinOfEvil: No, it's just the coffee.  
  
Lady Himura: 0_o  
  
SSJHimura: Coffee, coffee, coffee! Must...have...coffee!  
  
PenguinOfEvil: Someone give him decaf, he smells like a sweating dog!  
  
Lady Himura: What does that have to do with anything!?  
  
PenguinOfEvil: I... don't... know!  
  
SSJHimura: Back..coffee..to...coffee...my...more coffee...story! Where's my coffee!  
  
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"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *gasp* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Sano screamed as the door swung open revealing a tall, dark figure.   
  
"IT"S A GIANT KILLER SQUIRREL!" Sano yelled as he hid himself behind Yahiko's limp body. The tall figure walked into the room, a lightning bolt crashing behind him.  
  
"Please don't kill me! Kill Yahiko, but don't kill me or my high definition man screen t.v. with satelite dish and pizza maker!"Sano yelled as he tossed Yahiko's unconcious body towards the figure, and covered his t.v.  
  
"Stop it you idiot! Did you say pizza maker?" The figure said trying to look over Sano's shoulder.  
  
"HEY keep your eyes away from my t.v.!" Sano yelled at the figure.  
  
"It's me you ignoramous, Hiko Sejiro!" Hiko said annoyed.  
  
"HIKO!? What are you doing here?" Sano asked, confused.  
  
"Well my Mercedes ran out of gas right in front of your dojo. I was taking it for a test drive. I found it in front of my house this morning with a tag that said "I smuggled this from America, illegally! Enjoy!" Hiko said still wondering who could of sent it.  
  
"Gee, go figure! What moron would leave a mercedes on someone elses lawn eh?" Sano laughed nervously, remebering it was he who gave it to him without signing his name on the tag.  
  
"Well come in, I have to bandage Yahiko's sides." Sano said as he got up from the floor. Sano was about to slide the door closed when Hiko yelled, "Hold on!" He took a little tiny remote out of his shirt pocket. He pressed the little button and a *beep, beep* could be heard from outside. "I love that car!" Hiko said to himself as Sano finally closed the door.  
  
After Sano and Hiko watched "manly" t.v. show on the Man screen, Yahiko woke woke up dazed form loss of blood.  
  
"Hey Yahiko, how you feeling?" Sano asked still watching the t.v.  
  
"Well I think my sides are starting to scab over." Yahiko said optomistically.  
  
"Hey Hiko, there is some Extra Virgin Olive oil in the kitchen, why don't you see if that will work for gas." Sano said.  
  
"Hey, great idea!" Hiko said as he happily went to get it. " Well, I'm gonna go try it. Hold on. ................................................................................................... IT WORKS!!! YEEE HAW!!" Yelled Hiko as he drove away like a mad man.  
  
"He's crazy..." Yahiko exclaimed  
  
"Hey look, the home shopping network is on. Let's see what they're selling." Sano said :: he pauses to look at the screen::   
  
( t.v.) "This is SSjHimura with LadyHimura on the home shopping network. Today we're selling a porclain cow! yes, that's right a porclain cow! Act now and we'll through in a free isrish wrist watch (A/N: Say Irish wrist watch three times fast! I bet you can't do it! Go ahead, try!)  
  
"For only 99 easy payments of $99.99, yes only three easy payments, would you be able to refuse that offer Lady Himura?"  
  
"No way! This a once in a life time offer! Call this number below! Yes I mean you!"  
  
"Me?" Sano and Yahiko said out loud  
  
(t.v.) "Yes, I mean you! What are you waiting for Yahiko, call, call!"  
  
Okay, I'll call, tell me the number Sano whie I dial it on this smuggled cell phone." Yahiko said grabbing teh phone.  
  
"Sure, the number is 768-4453 (A/N: If you look at these numbers on the phone, they spell smuggle.)" Sanos said as he read the numbers off the bottom of the screen, below the number a small notice read "$99 calling fee."  
  
(t.v.) "Look Lady himura we have a caller!" SSJHimura said  
  
"Wow! Whose stupid enough to call!....I mean yay a caller!" Lady Himura said  
  
"Yeah, we would like to but three of your porclain cows!" Sano said.  
  
"Three of them! Oh what a moron! .....I mean lucky man to be getting such a rare and valuable item!" SSJHImura said.  
  
"Hey let's take them for what their worth!" Lady Himura whispered into SSJHimura's ear.  
  
"I like the way you think!" SSJ Himura replied.  
  
"Now all we need is your credit card number! Hurry!" SSJHimura screamed cynically.  
  
"Oh no! We need a credit card!" Yahiko yelled.  
  
"Hold on, I'll be right back!" Sano yelled as he ran to Kaoru's room.  
  
He ran to Kaoru's room, looking through her closet, throwing all her kimono's everywhere until he found her money bag. He opened it and found a wallet inside.   
  
"Ohh, platinum!" Sano said as he slipped the card into his pocket.  
  
"What's this?" Sano slowly pulled out a picture inside the wallet. To his surprise, it was a picture of Kenshin. He turned the picture over to find there was writng on the back. It read:  
  
Thanks for last night, see you tonight in the secret room. *wink*  
  
"Kenshin you dog! You're a wild man!" Sano thought to himself.  
  
"Yahiko, I got the credit card!" Sano yelled.  
  
(t.v.)"Hurry our supplies are going fast!" SSJHimura lied through his teeth.  
  
"Nice one SSJHimura!" Lady Himura complimented.  
  
"Yeah, I'm a natural at decieveing pathetic minds like theirs!" SSJHimura laughed.  
  
"Hurry sano, there all most out of supplies!"  
  
TO BE CONTINUED  
  
Will Sano and Yahiko ever get their cow! Did they even have platinum cards back then? Will Kenshin and Kaoru ever get home! Who else will be dropping by the kamiya dojo? Find out next time!! Oh and let's thank lady himura for helping me type this chapter! 


End file.
